By Melanie Bazile, Director of Innovation & Expansion
Languages of Appreciation
Several years ago, Compass made a commitment to learning about and investing in employee engagement. Compass understands the connection between engagement and appreciation, which is why we infused The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace into our organizational culture.
The book, written by Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Paul White, is based on their previous work on Love Languages. The basic premise is that we each have primary ways or channels through which we experience and feel love and the same concept applies to how we communicate and feel appreciation at work. The five languages of appreciation at work are
Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Tangible Gifts and Physical Touch
All Compass employees are asked to take a survey to find out what their primary language of Appreciation is, we discuss the concept in new employee orientation, and it remains a pivotal influence on our organizational culture.
We are highlighting a language of appreciation each quarter. We have blind spots to appreciation languages that are not our primary ways of receiving appreciation so it is helpful to spend time periodically thinking about how we can honor others.
The 5th language of appreciation is physical touch however in a professional environment, this appreciation language is simplified and quite frankly minimized. People who have Physical Touch as their primary Love language in their personal life do not expect this kind of experience in a work setting. Physical touch in our work world is more like a celebratory high five or an occasional contextual hug, perhaps in celebration or comfort during difficult times. You may experience coworkers with physical touch as a primary love language to be more physical in general…they reach out with their hands during conversation or lightly smack your arm when laughing and they give the “touch” a second thought. Since Physical Touch as an appreciation language is not fully expressed in professional settings, we will not be further discussing it.
This quarter we will highlight Words of Affirmation as an appreciation language.
In my office (and at home) I have a pretty box that is overflowing with words I have been given over the years in the form of cards, letters, emails, etc. Certain phrases I can remember word for word and when I think of them, I actually feel them again because words of affirmation is how I experience appreciation. It makes my day when someone I respect gives me positive feedback.
Words of Affirmation is likely the most understood and most common appreciation language. It is basically showing appreciation, praise and/or gratitude, through words, spoken or written. These words can be as simple as “I appreciate your hard work on this project” or “I admire your humility and the way you honor others”. But people who feel love and appreciation through words, often really like words and look forward to detail rich expressions. People whose primary language of appreciation is Words of Affirmation likely are quite capable to expressing feelings and gratitude verbally and are free flowing with compliments for others.
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” -Mark Twain
Here are some suggestions to deliver words affirmation effectively. But first and foremost, take the time to express appreciation, don’t assume people know. If words of affirmation don’t come naturally to you, don’t worry. It can be learned and even saying “I know words is your appreciation language so I want to try to be better at expressing things” will go a long way.
Be specific in your praise. “Good job” may not feel like praise to someone whose primary language of appreciation is Words because it’s pretty general and generic.
Acknowledge individual contributions rather than general group nods. Those email blasts of “Way to go Team” will not land in am impactful way for words of affirmation folks.
Tailor your words to the individual you are appreciating so it is received personally. Also, find out whether the person wants their words publicly or privately.
Emphasize the WHY what they did is important to either you or the team or the organization. It may seem obvious to you but Words folks like to know their impact.
People whose primary language of appreciation is Words of Affirmation, tend to consider words carefully. This means that the words that are chosen are important and this is especially true with any type of feedback or criticism. For this group of people, words can wound unintentionally. And those of you reading this who are Words of Affirmation people, remember to be kind to yourself with the words you choose too!
Here are a few ideas and ways to show appreciation to a coworker through Words of Affirmation:
- Express gratitude to someone whether verbally or in written form
- Place an encouraging sticky note somewhere unexpected
- Post a “brag” or acknowledgement on social media and tag them
- Honor someone with an award with thoughtfully chosen words
- Publish their work in a company newsletter (with their permission of course)
- Send a card in the mail
- Send encouraging texts or messages throughout the week
- Affirm them when they are doing something great, don’t just think it but express it
- Consistently say thank you
- Make a gift with words, such as a jar full of notes or a kind word for each year they have been alive
- Ask their circle to write a message for a special occasion and share it with them
- Give them their “words” in a pretty format that they can look at as often as they wish.
- Find or have a shirt made with words that matter to them or that you share with them
- Give a genuine and specific compliment
- If you are bringing in a box of donuts or pastries for the team as a thank you, write positive words on the box that will be seen before each person makes their choice
- Give a gift that has words engraved on it that has specific meaning to the person
- It costs only time but writing a heartfelt letter could be a gift a Words person never forgets